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Losing faith in human relations…

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  • cyberr1981's Avatar
    1,271 posts since Oct '06
    • After going thru so much with people, I’ve learnt that the worst investment is efforts, time and money “invested” in maintaining human relationships. I’ve read and seen for myself how fragile human relations are and once broken, it is like a broken vase. Even if fixed back, there’ll still be cracks and scars, never as good like before.

       

      Whenever I joined a new company, I’ve been “pulled” by different colleagues to join their group/gang. The victim of backstab, will be mouthed until him/her to no value and only negative things. They told me all the bad things about this person and that person and to be careful of them. But when I actually interacted with that “evil person”, I find that he/she is not as bad as the colleagues bad-mouthed. Maybe a few character flaws, but who doesn’t have character flaws?

       

      Read before about when a person is in a bad plight like bankrupt, all his “so-called blossom” friends left him, all relatives avoid him like plague. Then what’s the point of making friends and having relatives? Then I rather have no friends, no relatives. Which is true as whenever I’m in trouble, I am my own benefactor. No one has really helped me.

       

      To those who begged to differ, saying that friends and relatives are important, are you really so sure that your so called friends will help you when in SERIOUS need? Not say buying lunch for you, doing small things, but making BIG BIG sacrifices!

       

      So far, since secondary school, I never have any REAL friends. Just hi-bye friends and my life is still fine. I really felt for those who spent money, time and efforts to help friends but when they themselves need their friends’ help, all the “friends” just run away and leave all the misfortune for himself to handle.

       

      This is so sad but true of society. I don’t intend to make new friends and don’t expect anyone to help me when I’m in trouble. I don’t really need friends/relatives!!!!

       

      Edited by cyberr1981 25 Jul `08, 8:42PM
  • Y_Shun's Avatar
    5,927 posts since Aug '06
    • other than friends and relatives, how about your family members?

      it all depends on how close your friends and you are.

  • cyberr1981's Avatar
    1,271 posts since Oct '06
    • Originally posted by Y_Shun:

      other than friends and relatives, how about your family members?

      it all depends on how close your friends and you are.


      Other than myself, it's my father/mother who have really helped me.

  • laURanaBabe's Avatar
    173 posts since Jun '08
  • R3D3V1L's Avatar
    52 posts since Jul '08
    • I agree man, relatives are nonsense. But there are people who make very good friends who won't desert you in your time of need. They are just very hard to find. I'm so glad I have at least one friend in that category.

      Dont lose faith in people. There are good people around still!

  • cyberr1981's Avatar
    1,271 posts since Oct '06
    • Originally posted by R3D3V1L:

      I agree man, relatives are nonsense. But there are people who make very good friends who won't desert you in your time of need. They are just very hard to find. I'm so glad I have at least one friend in that category.

      Dont lose faith in people. There are good people around still!


      I hope. But such good ppl are getting extinct...

  • cyberr1981's Avatar
    1,271 posts since Oct '06
    • Originally posted by laURanaBabe:

      i agree with u..the so called friends are crap..relatives are lame


      Relatives only add to my troubles, always asking crap and helpless questions like:

       

      "when are you getting married",

      "my so-and-so friend's son already own big house big car at your age, you better buck up",

      "only you can help yourself, why ask me advice"...etc.

  • Lefti68's Avatar
    320 posts since May '08
    • Originally posted by cyberr1981:

      After going thru so much with people, I’ve learnt that the worst investment is efforts, time and money “invested” in maintaining human relationships. I’ve read and seen for myself how fragile human relations are and once broken, it is like a broken vase. Even if fixed back, there’ll still be cracks and scars, never as good like before.

       

      Whenever I joined a new company, I’ve been “pulled” by different colleagues to join their group/gang. The victim of backstab, will be mouthed until him/her to no value and only negative things. They told me all the bad things about this person and that person and to be careful of them. But when I actually interacted with that “evil person”, I find that he/she is not as bad as the colleagues bad-mouthed. Maybe a few character flaws, but who doesn’t have character flaws?

       

      Read before about when a person is in a bad plight like bankrupt, all his “so-called blossom” friends left him, all relatives avoid him like plague. Then what’s the point of making friends and having relatives? Then I rather have no friends, no relatives. Which is true as whenever I’m in trouble, I am my own benefactor. No one has really helped me.

       

      To those who begged to differ, saying that friends and relatives are important, are you really so sure that your so called friends will help you when in SERIOUS need? Not say buying lunch for you, doing small things, but making BIG BIG sacrifices!

       

      So far, since secondary school, I never have any REAL friends. Just hi-bye friends and my life is still fine. I really felt for those who spent money, time and efforts to help friends but when they themselves need their friends’ help, all the “friends” just run away and leave all the misfortune for himself to handle.

       

      This is so sad but true of society. I don’t intend to make new friends and don’t expect anyone to help me when I’m in trouble. I don’t really need friends/relatives!!!!

       

      Share d same sentiments & hv been thru' similar situation as u mention in d thread. In short, trust no one but urself.

       

  • .: わが臈たし悪の華 :.
    parn's Avatar
    3,923 posts since May '03
    • Originally posted by cyberr1981:

      After going thru so much with people, I’ve learnt that the worst investment is efforts, time and money “invested” in maintaining human relationships. I’ve read and seen for myself how fragile human relations are and once broken, it is like a broken vase. Even if fixed back, there’ll still be cracks and scars, never as good like before.

       

      Whenever I joined a new company, I’ve been “pulled” by different colleagues to join their group/gang. The victim of backstab, will be mouthed until him/her to no value and only negative things. They told me all the bad things about this person and that person and to be careful of them. But when I actually interacted with that “evil person”, I find that he/she is not as bad as the colleagues bad-mouthed. Maybe a few character flaws, but who doesn’t have character flaws?

       

      Read before about when a person is in a bad plight like bankrupt, all his “so-called blossom” friends left him, all relatives avoid him like plague. Then what’s the point of making friends and having relatives? Then I rather have no friends, no relatives. Which is true as whenever I’m in trouble, I am my own benefactor. No one has really helped me.

       

      To those who begged to differ, saying that friends and relatives are important, are you really so sure that your so called friends will help you when in SERIOUS need? Not say buying lunch for you, doing small things, but making BIG BIG sacrifices!

       

      So far, since secondary school, I never have any REAL friends. Just hi-bye friends and my life is still fine. I really felt for those who spent money, time and efforts to help friends but when they themselves need their friends’ help, all the “friends” just run away and leave all the misfortune for himself to handle.

       

      This is so sad but true of society. I don’t intend to make new friends and don’t expect anyone to help me when I’m in trouble. I don’t really need friends/relatives!!!!

       

      Wrong lor....not everyone is like that.

      I also got friends who are just out to take advantage of me, of course there will be many people like that in our lives. This is something that everybody will eventually need to learn how to deal with this kind of common friends. Once you have found your way to overcome those bad friends and bad relatives, you will realised that actually all those bad friends are relatives aren't really important to your life at all. And you might laugh about it later after you have overcome this unpleasant feeling that's still surfaced in you whenever you had to deal with those bad friends and relatives.

      But I also got good and close friends and even best friend in my life. It just takes time to discover them, but once you've found them...they will be with you till the end of time.

      Good friends and potential partner are probably most difficult to come by, cos they're mixed among all the bad ones.

      Maybe this kind of things really need to depend on fate and destiny.

      But don't feel disappointed with yourself and life itself just because of a few disappointing people in your life. If you compared those few bad ones with the rest of the world, your life isn't all that bad afterall you know? At least you still got the rest of the world who are still interested to be your friends. :)

      I also never give up my search for good friends, so I always be true and kind to everyone I've met. If they disappoint, betray, take advantage of you, upset you, then so be it and strike them off your list. I usually don't give second chance cos I know I can forgive them, but I can never forget them...and it's better not to meet them again. :)

      I believe you will find good friends and future partner eventually if you are optimisstic. Who knows, your next new friend might end up being your best friend or even your wife! :)

      Press on and never say die hor..............................

       

  • cyberr1981's Avatar
    1,271 posts since Oct '06
    • Originally posted by Lefti68:

      Share d same sentiments & hv been thru' similar situation as u mention in d thread. In short, trust no one but urself.

       


      In the past when I first started working, I really regretted being too naive and stupid!!

      I thought by being helpful to ppl, someday when I need their help, they will help me. I also confide my problems and honest opinions about the boss to some colleagues. Maybe I shouldn't expect any returns, but I also never expect those ppl to bad-mouth me.

      Guess I can only blame myself for being too innocent and naive back in those years. Now, I maintain a distant relationship with my present colleagues.

  • Lefti68's Avatar
    320 posts since May '08
    • Originally posted by cyberr1981:


      In the past when I first started working, I really regretted being too naive and stupid!!

      I thought by being helpful to ppl, someday when I need their help, they will help me. I also confide my problems and honest opinions about the boss to some colleagues. Maybe I shouldn't expect any returns, but I also never expect those ppl to bad-mouth me.

      Guess I can only blame myself for being too innocent and naive back in those years. Now, I maintain a distant relationship with my present colleagues.

      No. U r not stupid & naive. U r being too kind & honest to those scumbags. Juz ignore those bunch of pseudo-cultivated educated creeps.

      Dun hv to help them. Let them rot.

  • laURanaBabe's Avatar
    173 posts since Jun '08
    • its a world where we make use of each other...use them if you have to...

      even in this forum, ppl are using each other to past time only...but it makes them happy, so why not?

  • knightlll's Avatar
    685 posts since Sep '06
  • googoomuck's Avatar
    1,744 posts since Feb '06
    • Even a friend of 18 years demanded kickback for recommending me a job.

      We are like strangers now.biggrin.png

  • Lefti68's Avatar
    320 posts since May '08
    • Originally posted by knightlll:

      U do a zi wei reading for them  , then u know how to defend yourself liao lor.  :p

      hahaha... Shld attack instead of using defensive strategy. Mi wil go 四马路Guanyin temple to look for 神婆to help mi 打小人wi my 2-inch heels. icon_lol.gif

  • laURanaBabe's Avatar
    173 posts since Jun '08
    • Originally posted by knightlll:

      U do a zi wei reading for them  , then u know how to defend yourself liao lor.  :p


      confused.png

  • FirePig's Avatar
    1,002 posts since Mar '08
    • I beg to differ. I have a lot of good friends. Problem is most of my very good friends are dull and boring but i believe they can be relied upon cos we have shared many good things together before.

  • Certified Auntie Killer
    Ferret's Avatar
    35,560 posts since Jul '00
    • ppl need to group together and be against someone lah.

       

      at least u not the victim k ?

       

  • maggot's Avatar
    3,956 posts since Jul '05
    • Now…where’s your confidence and faith in Zi Wei Dou Shu?

      You should know how to solve…

  • Aldinosaur's Avatar
    3 posts since Jul '08
    • I know what you mean about people who are just jerks and can totally stab you in the back, but what to do? Some people are just like that.

      I used to work nightlife and man, just dealing with so many idiots totally made me feel the same way, so much so I don't really like to meet people now. I had a colleague who claimed to be my best friend before and now he doesn't even talk to me, and I didn't even do a thing. But oh well, some people are just like that, like I said.

      What drives me on is just knowing that I am happy and that I do the right thing at the right time and I always try to give a helping hand, whether the recipient wanna thank me or not doesn't matter. So ya, just believe in yourself.

       

  • The only cure for procrastination is a terminal illness.
    LatecomerX's Avatar
    2,208 posts since May '07
    • Originally posted by cyberr1981:

      After going thru so much with people, I’ve learnt that the worst investment is efforts, time and money “invested” in maintaining human relationships. I’ve read and seen for myself how fragile human relations are and once broken, it is like a broken vase. Even if fixed back, there’ll still be cracks and scars, never as good like before.

       

      Whenever I joined a new company, I’ve been “pulled” by different colleagues to join their group/gang. The victim of backstab, will be mouthed until him/her to no value and only negative things. They told me all the bad things about this person and that person and to be careful of them. But when I actually interacted with that “evil person”, I find that he/she is not as bad as the colleagues bad-mouthed. Maybe a few character flaws, but who doesn’t have character flaws?

       

      Read before about when a person is in a bad plight like bankrupt, all his “so-called blossom” friends left him, all relatives avoid him like plague. Then what’s the point of making friends and having relatives? Then I rather have no friends, no relatives. Which is true as whenever I’m in trouble, I am my own benefactor. No one has really helped me.

       

      To those who begged to differ, saying that friends and relatives are important, are you really so sure that your so called friends will help you when in SERIOUS need? Not say buying lunch for you, doing small things, but making BIG BIG sacrifices!

       

      So far, since secondary school, I never have any REAL friends. Just hi-bye friends and my life is still fine. I really felt for those who spent money, time and efforts to help friends but when they themselves need their friends’ help, all the “friends” just run away and leave all the misfortune for himself to handle.

       

      This is so sad but true of society. I don’t intend to make new friends and don’t expect anyone to help me when I’m in trouble. I don’t really need friends/relatives!!!!

       

      Help people only if you want to, and not because you want to be reciprocated someday. You'll find it will be much easier to decide when to say "no" to others and be easy on yourself.

       

      Edited by LatecomerX 26 Jul `08, 9:41AM
  • Be my friend... ^^
    BadzMaro's Avatar
    21,565 posts since Apr '04
    • got good got bad la.

      Good friends good relatives. Bad useless friends.. useless relatives.

      I  lucky to have them real good friends and relatives. With them. We all can achieve greatness.

  • Hwaimeng's Avatar
    125 posts since Apr '08
    • its only either u dont know how to handle human  and human relationship

      or u havent meet yr true friend yet

       

  • Queen of sgForums
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    FireIce's Avatar
    163,405 posts since Dec '99
  • noahnoah's Avatar
    5,149 posts since May '06
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